` eddyble twirls

hopelessly

2012-01-06T23:32:00.000+11:00

i feel like there might be something that I'll miss
hopelessly
i feel like the window closes oh so quick
hopelessly
i'm taking a mental picture of you now
'cuz hopelessly
the hope is we have so much to feel good about

I know I am thirty-four years late

2011-10-07T22:25:00.006+11:00

...but HELLOOOOOOO STAR WARS!

for the past nineteen

(note: i haven't written for so long, i started spelling nineteen with n-i-g-h-t...true story)

years of my ignorant life, i have lived with unwalked skies and unlit sabers, all those times when i casted looks of condescension and complete apathy to that group of people who think pseudo sword fighting with glow sticks were 'cool'. oh you group of people, YOU WERE RIGHT. IT IS COOL. cool to the point where the very act has the ability to cause goosebumps on princess leia's hot golden bikini clad shackled body.

to think back to an era when my world was filled with yoda wadda? and why is han going solo? oh the pain nearly rivals that when i watched the great jedi purge for the first time.

fear not my dear dear galaxy far far away, we have the next nineteen years of my life to properly catch up.

'cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks.

2011-09-04T01:04:00.003+10:00

currently,

it is
one in the morning.
after
two hours of sleep last night
and there is
six hours until i have to face another nine to five day at work.

yes, it is a lot of figures to process at this time of night isn't it?

also, having the misfortune to be born sans cock, it is the time of month where i turn to lots and lots of pain killers. so i opened my pack of muscle relaxers earlier this evening, only to remember i was a greedy little bitch last month and consumed them all. i hate you. and by you i mean past me.

also also, nutjobs next door are still moving out (yes, at ONE AM) and clanging away at the stair railings in a fashion not dissimilar (i had to think about if this made sense for a couple minutes...was that two double negatives?) to sinister psychopathic killers.

all in all...i imagine this will be another sleepless night in seattle. or sydney. whatever.

2011-08-21T20:28:00.000+10:00

We are in each other’s arms
Just like a movie scene
Cause as we're leaning in
The light decides to turn green
Me and you together
This is getting better
Just butterflies won't do
I don't want just red lights
I want more of these nights
Baby, I love you

finale

2011-08-03T18:51:00.003+10:00

seven hundred and forty eight days ago:

you convinced me to say yes. i knew i wasn't a hundred percent sure, and i knew it was unfair to you...i think i just liked the idea of having someone being there for me, and who loved me, even though i did not reciprocate those feelings.

being with you was so easy, at first. of course it was easy. you thought you were so lucky, after all the chasing, and your perseverance, you had what you thought you finally wanted. it was the honeymoon phase, as they call it.

but then, things changed. we both changed. i fell in love...and you fell out. now i was the one who thought you were everything, thought that i was so lucky. i guess it was karma, teaching me a lesson.

you threw away everything, before the year was over. you didn't give me a second thought, you were unfaithful, you hid away like a guilty little child who knew he had been caught dipping his hand in too many candy jars.

yet you never took up the courage to end it. to do the right thing by me, even though i was begging you to. "don't lead me on." i said. "i understand, things change." but still you insisted on taking the chances i handed out like free samples on the street. i kept hoping you would come back to me. i thought you still meant those three words you say but never show.

now i know better. now is the final straw. i have wasted two years of my life, and i am not ready. but you are not worth the fight anymore.

squaddles dee dee

2011-06-29T22:10:00.005+10:00

you know you had me at -

"cool t-shirt babe" .

(fooled you! you thought I was going to end with hello didn't you? this aint the jerry maguire blog dude.)

annnddd i think i will stop before this post becomes the deep pan crusted cheese pizza i consumed for dinner. this blog needs coagulated milk protein as much as my body needs a gazillion calories. clearly my witty, artistic style is still evermore nonexistent. perhaps you shall see me in another 318 days.

...are you impressed at how effortlessly I just happened to calculate the length of my absence? well don't be. it took a lot, too much, effort on my part.

toodles.

how to be a huge ass fool

2010-08-14T16:09:00.001+10:00

give all you have to someone that doesn't give two shits, not even one.

you are all fcking wrong. i rather feel nothing than this. i want absolutely freakin NOTHING.

2010-06-28T03:11:00.002+10:00

Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight
I need help believing, you're with me tonight.

You play dead, but you never bled.

2010-06-15T12:09:00.001+10:00

acts in futility.

2010-06-12T03:03:00.001+10:00

what is the point in pretending to ask for my permission, when your mind is already made up & your plans prearranged?

why should i continue to grant approvals and oks when they have no legs to stand on? they are merely passive words to soothe your conscience.

too bad, i no longer feel like acquiescing to your acts with questionable motives.

2010-06-12T00:37:00.001+10:00

I'll open up and be your parachute,
and I'll never let you down.

So open up and be my human angel,
and we'll only hit the ground,
running...running.

2010-06-09T23:31:00.003+10:00

did you see those huns? they popped out of the snow, like daisies!

yet.

2010-05-31T00:01:00.002+10:00

im losing ground and gaining speed.
ive lost myself or most of me.
im headed for the final precipice.
...
im so confused
whats true or false
whats fact or fiction after all
i feel like im an apparitions pet.

but you havent lost me yet.

if it doesnt break your heart,
its not enough.
its when youre breaking down
with your insides coming out
thats when you find out what your heart is made of.

and you havent lost me yet.
no you havent lost me yet.

2010-05-29T00:44:00.001+10:00

time slows, my heart steadily sinks, as you drop it once more.

hitting the harsh bitter concrete, every new crack is a stinging fresh cut on faded bruises and old stubborn scars that refuse to disappear from memory. each wound keeping an unwanted, yet inerasable record of past pains.

a worn, used object for your amusement that, like a discarded toy, no longer hold your fascination and love as better and newer versions are produced.

now if only i could buy a new heart after everytime time you break it.

2010-05-20T19:04:00.001+10:00

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines.
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be,
It's only finger-lengths that I see.
I touch the place where I'd find your face,
My finger in creases of distant dark places
...
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms.

every single 'sorry' to escape from you drips of insincerity

2010-05-17T00:00:00.003+10:00

and you claim my translation to be an unintended deception, yet this feeble explanation does not quell my suspicion that your words reflect the amount of effort your heart contributes.

oh freddie .

2010-05-16T16:36:00.001+10:00

2010-05-02T19:01:00.003+10:00

when things break, it's not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. it's because a little piece gets lost - the two remaining ends couldn't fit together even if they wanted to. the whole shape has changed.

- will grayson, will grayson (and best part is i quoted it to the caps ;D because will grayson doesn't use capitals! yes. that warranted an exclamation mark).

---

but how do we stop ourselves before we become bankrupt from buying fruitless amounts of super super glue and hope?

i wish you understood that i wouldn't be in so much pain if i didn't love you.

2010-04-21T00:36:00.001+10:00

confessions pt. II

2010-04-20T11:57:00.006+10:00

(couldn't help myself with the title)

though i admit my behaviour for the past month and more has been tedious to put up with, i wish to defend myself.

of course i understand that there is such things as a pure platonic male/female relationship, and i don't give a rats ass about you having many many of these lovely platonic bonds. however, when it turns into a situation where

- you can't go a day without thinking about a girl,
- or a day without talking to a certain girl,
- or a day without having contact with that girl,

i start to question the level of your so called platonic-ness. i understand if you have friends that are close & dear to your heart, friends that you care about like family, i have them too. but i must say, i would be able to survive quite well without having to talk to them for 24 hours. heck one of them is now living 160km away (which is 160km further than your little girl friend) and it cuts me everytime i go to work and know she's not there eating donuts or watching youtube. but i survive (albeit with frequent spamming on fb).

maybe i could accept that you have a girl you need to talk to everyday if it weren't for the fact that somehow you are always initiating conversations with her in the middle of ours (of course, it could be my fault if i am too dull to hold your interest, in which case DON'T FCKING BE WITH ME. let me go bore someone who doesn't mind).

you argue that i should trust you. most people say once someone has broken their trust once, they never trust that person again. but hey, we're sooooo, like, in love or whatever right? you have no idea how much i would give to trust you like i did before christmas, but i am trying. even though YOU ARE NOT HELPING. is this some sort of test (although why I should be the one tested is beyond me) that i'm failing? let's see how many girls you can flaunt in my face without me cracking. ok, you win, i've cracked. the last time you had to talk to a girl everyday and couldn't stop thinking about her, that was me. oh hello. what a nasty coincidence.

it is the same thing every day, every week. same shit, different girl. what is it about them? do you want them to like you, so if we fall through you have a safety net? once a player always a player right? i get that people feel good about themselves knowing that the opposite sex finds them attractive, i don't get off on that personally, but i won't judge. but once you have a 'significant other', shouldn't that stuff not matter anymore? why would you care if a girl likes you or not, or worse, why would you still want them to like you? maybe i seem 'aggro' or angry, but it's always at the same thing, so maybe it's not just me chucking a hissy fit, maybe it's that you never learn the lesson.

i can't take this anymore. because it hurts, and each time is like a papercut. and one million paper cuts, let me inform you, does kill you. if you really did love me you would end this, because maybe you don't realise it, so i will spell it out for you. if you think about another girl while texting your girlfriend and you can't go a day without talking to her, then YOU LIKE HER. do us both a favour and stop using me because i'm safe.

2010-04-19T22:37:00.003+10:00

so lately i find myself turning into one of those people i used to look and shake my head at in derision, thinking i would never be one of them, that i would never behave so irrationally, or unreasonably. don't you just hate it when this happens? all of a sudden the task of having to live with yourself has developed into a constant and tiresome agony.

to make myself clearer, i am talking about a person's (me) insecurities, doubts, and possibly a touch of neurosis and bipolar disorder. it is one of those common facts of life that people 'know', and perhaps understand on some shallow level, yet we head in the contrary direction anyway. we have all heard it before in one form or another; that to love someone, it means to appreciate their strengths as well as their flaws, for better or for worse, in good times and in bad (mixing marriage vows here, but in most cases marriages is a result of love right?).

and when you find yourself facing this situation, without hesitation you think to yourself there would be no problems with that. of course you would be able to be a big person and love someone for their good and their bad. yet why is it so hard to believe that the other person can accomplish this same task?

because suddenly, every single little insecurity you have of yourself, all your defects and ugly secrets that you so desperately try to lock away from that other person is threatening to spill out, highlighted, hanged up in lights and naked for the world to speculate and laugh at. suddenly, the carefully constructed facade of desirable qualities crack like cheap plaster walls, and all that is left is the hideous monstrosity that you wish you weren't.

now the question becomes, how do we tame a monster? before it destroys everything, ruining all the things that you wish you can hold on to forever, till death comes and parts us. it feeds on to every string of misery and doubt that crosses the mind, and drools over the path to redemption. it has eaten up all your faith, hope, trust, love, until there is nothing left.

how can anyone accept this, love this? it is not possible. who would prefer to battle with a monster when there are prettier, nicer, skinnier options right next door? options that make you laugh, or play games with you, amuse you, entertain you. option that makes the creature you have to deal with bitter and unappetizing. the escape route has never been paved out smoother.

2010-02-23T22:42:00.002+11:00

You were right, being dogged does make one feel like they're not worth it. Thanks, again.

2010-02-22T11:18:00.003+11:00

Right now I truly believe that I hate you, but in the most painful I-still-love-you kind of way.

Love is not enough anymore.

2010-02-13T21:46:00.002+11:00

so this is what a figurative broken cardiac aorta feels like. thanks for the demo bud.

dear my turtle friend,

2010-02-11T22:20:00.004+11:00

if you ever need a place to crash, and provided i also find a way out of my little prickly nest of doom,

YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME IN MY HUBBUB!

:)

(yeah...im nosy. even long snouted pinnochio cant compete with my nosyness 8D)

and i have cravings for banana chips TT come get some with me hahaa.

2010-02-08T11:38:00.004+11:00

Don't you realise when you say things I actually believe you?

But then you never follow through, and all these hopes I had just melt away, and once again I'm left alone, trying to heal this empty feeling I have inside.

I wish I could learn my lesson, but I'm not strong enough to deny hope when it is offered on a platter extended to me by your smile and credible words.

So the only thing I can do is ask you, please stop.

And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all

2010-02-02T15:58:00.004+11:00

I looked into your eyes,
Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure.

So here's everything coming down to nothing,
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core.
Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore.

2010-02-01T22:26:00.001+11:00

Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on.

Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not.

2010-01-27T15:32:00.000+11:00

People don't leave because things are hard, they leave because it is no longer worth it.

2010-01-25T11:45:00.002+11:00

2010-01-17T20:17:00.003+11:00

2010-01-17T12:31:00.012+11:00

don't you just hate it when someone breaks your heart, and they don't even know it.

♥

ditto man. ditto.

did you know (ding!), some of the runners had prosthetic balls hanging inside those golden panties. now that is special effects.

my logic goes; she said blog, this is a blog.

juno + harry reference. 'nough said.

i think ellen looks gorgeous here :)

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you

2010-01-17T11:46:00.004+11:00

it's been brought to my attention that this blog has adopted a slight glass-is-half-empty tone lately,

so im here to rectify this little issue by some juno spamming.

But we prefer to pretend it does not exist.

2010-01-17T03:16:00.006+11:00

this fight isnt supposed to be so hard,
this harsh, relentless battle
for breath, for freedom,
for happiness, for an improvement of our present.

for some ambiguous greater purpose
we get bruised, we get beaten,
we ache, we bleed.
it baits us, letting our hopes soar through a glimpse of illusive triumph,
only to be shot back down by a glass ceiling barrier.

at most times temptation to end it overcomes us,
the sweetness of escape, a relief from pain,
so easy, numbing.
we pause, on the brink of falling into naive insouciance,
but our gut tugs our feet back, our bodies falling into cushions of tribulation once more.

do we simply never learn from our mistakes,
or perhaps just inside every one of us is a little fcker of a masochist?

--------------

its 3am, sleeplessness makes me sad and slightly unhinged.

'Cause we're all guilty of the same things
We think the thoughts, whether or not we see them through
And I know that I have been forgiven
And I just hope you can forgive me too

So don't you dare blame me
For prying open the door
That's unleashed the bitterness
That's here in the midst of this
Sometimes we live for no one but ourselves

And what we've been striving for
Has turned into nothing more
Than bodies, limp on the floor
Victims of falling short
We kiss goodbye, the cheek of our true love

And you can't see past the blood on my hands
To see that you've been aptly damned to fail and fail again.

2010-01-15T20:22:00.002+11:00

i do i do! pick me pick meee!

2010-01-11T21:00:00.002+11:00

i can stare at the sun all day longgg...

through my camera lens.

2010-01-02T22:37:00.005+11:00

i'm sorry to disappoint,

but i am not, nor will i ever endeavor to be, or may be by chance transformed into becoming, extraordinary.

contrarily, i selfishly utterly desire to only be happily ordinary.

and in that case, i am not sorry for who i am, or what i want to be.

so please, don't get your hopes up, and do slaughter all your expectations. unless you enjoy having your heart drop in dissatisfaction and rising feelings of regret, discontent and slight resentment (or whole resentment, im not certain of your degree of letdown, but it may be relative to how high former expectations were).

my apologies, if i have unintentionally misled you.

2010-01-01T00:19:00.007+11:00

2 0 1 0

so here I was, hoping to make this huge broadcast to announce 2010 is hereeeeeeee

...and the largest size i can put it in is that. well, mr blogspot, this is not a satisfying start to my new year.

neither is this mushroom fringe I decided to get on boxing day:

2009-12-20T19:51:00.005+11:00

YES I'M REFERRING TO YOU

and you

and you...

but mostly you.

thanks to everyone who has been with me this year (but thank goodness its over). i think it is a good sign that we're still breathing and our hearts are still beating :)

xo & merrychristmas!

2009-12-18T17:21:00.001+11:00

i hate being all fcking alone. im incompetent, and im always tripping, and then im always bleeding, because there is no one to catch me.

I spy...a bbt reference, a rhyme, 15 yr old marshall, and a loser.

2009-12-09T22:45:00.008+11:00

summer's here (in the southern hemisphere), there is a (albeit overlit and excessive energy consuming) hulking tree blocking up half the pathway in qvb, and the natural confectionery company has released its own little 99% fat free pine tree and santa shaped jelly delectables. in keeping with my calculations, this can only result in:

santa claus (christmas) is comin' to townnnn ♥

but along with this season's jingle (bells, and batman still smells...of tall, dark, sexy hotness) jolly merriments, comes the (unavoidable) mad rush and animal scramble for presents (that is if you are lucky enough to have stumbled upon a deep buried memory of some dazzzling trinket to blow off present-receiver's christmas stocking).

of course, since i havent actually made a substantial point yet by my third paragraph, it can be safe to admit i have diddly squat (i wish i had squat) to share with you in this post.

my brain, having been idle, and its cells reduced to a state of numbnutic stupor, has only the typical list of new years resolutions to dawdle out (ah, to still be procrastinating away even after graduating high school...someone needs a life). rest assure, i have never felt any obligation to make actual exertions to fulfil them.

- discover hogwarts
- form some sort of residence under a baubled christmas tree
- be on ellen! and win free stuff for laughing and dancing!
- own a coffee maker (in fact, this is numero uno, but im too lazy to move it)
- soak up more words in book form
- be forgiving
- be accepted into some sort of uni course
- (survive) move out
- lose weight (because im like, a girl, who has like, a bmi of over like, 19)

---

i was partially kidding with last dotpoint, so please spare me, oh feminists, apathetic and self-assured people out there.

2009-11-23T22:17:00.001+11:00

so easy to sketch out on technology.
even easier to say.

and yet so rarely ever followed through.

2009-11-20T22:33:00.004+11:00

oh conformity, thou hast finally taken mine throat into thy deathly grasp.

on the bright side, you now have the anticipation of future endless postings of amateur scribbles.

happy thanksgiving! (has anyone in australia ever uttered this greeting before? is it even thanksgiving? why am i asking, its fun to say either way)

if you want to

2009-11-20T22:29:00.002+11:00

so lonely inside,
so busy out there.

and all you wanted was somebody who cares.

im sinking slowly,
so hurry hold me.
your hand is all i have
to keep me hanging on.

2009-11-12T13:04:00.002+11:00

I'm gonna Pikachu in the shower >D

2009-10-23T14:29:00.007+11:00

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person worth sticking with.

so...i found the quote function.

i suppose i should allude to the major events happening in my life at the moment, however, my usual...(let's just say) loquaciousness is running dry (thank you, english papers 1 and 2).

but fear not, i found a substitute that should portray my thoughts just as (if not more) eloquently:

ooOOooo oooOOoohh...i've been rollin' around *

2009-10-17T22:04:00.008+11:00

black is the new president.
farming is the latest avocation.
paramore is the next somebodeh.

and teapot is the new vase. obviously;
* see, i've never been a fan of roaming.

...nor the possessor of fine tuned hearing.

2009-10-13T18:48:00.003+11:00

oh the wild things i get up to.
.
..
...
fine, i admit it. the pie chart is a slight exaggeration; frankly,the critical thinking category is absolute bullcrap.

hey there hotness

2009-10-07T21:23:00.012+11:00

...mind if i check you out?

----
no doubt there are various criterion a job would have to fulfill in order for it to be dreamy, satisfying and leaving you craving for more. and no, the job was not a metaphor for the best burger in new york or a good lay.

a sizeable, beefy paycheck perhaps. (really, no hidden metaphors.)

maybe paid lunch breaks. (getting paid to eat. that'll be the day.)

or more modestly speaking, just some employee discounts for doritos.

but even without these er, realistic, benefits, one exclusive responsibility makes this job the cream of my (hitherto) professional crop.
----

'cause im just doin' my job ;)

making history...

2009-10-06T17:19:00.013+11:00

...or if you're untalented, nonplussed and supremely lethargic (oops, there i go talking about myself again), then the next best thing would be witnessing the making of history.

so gather (@eddy ave. and, yes of course, it was named after me), cheer (on the nine baristas who will be tirelessly working their coffee machines off), but in general make no difference whatsoever with your presence, for the 9.10.2009 guinness record attempt for making the most cappuccinos in one hour!

hoorah for free coffee opportunities!

no im kidding. it should be good skills, good fun, and goooood bloody cold.

other topics ive been meaning to fascinate you all with:

- making a guinness record trumping oreo tower (i lie. im not sure if its guinness worthy, but boy, it was yummy all the same) with my favourite curry pot (girlfriend, not cuisine).
now before you go calling us (or, just me) greedy oreo hogs, we cling-and-cardboard-wrapped the tower, and gave it as a birthday present to our friend. and then ate it. see, we're very sharing is caring people.

- reaching another momentous peak in my academic life as 'high school graduate'. heres a couple pictures to boost word count because this is pretty much all i have to say on graduation, à la prochaine nsghs.

luncheon was lovely, the carnivale venice theme was very fancy(ier than the angus burger anyway) - thanks yr 11 (oh those lucky ducks have a good year ahead to look forward to).

- met nat tran at market st! i still havent gone on a crazy whoop about it yet, her mighty presence is still taking a while to sink in. anyway, my bf pointed her out (several times, because each time i would squint, and fail to see her); i could be scanning her lamingtons at coles, and i still wouldn't see her (oh eyesight, how i wish i cherished you more, like my doritos).
her cutie (but, alas, taken) friend, who you may remember from such videos as Popular Kids, and FBI Warning, took the photo :)

and now i think its time for me to take another long and absent break from posting, just to give you guys time to forget my creepy lurker [...ninja? ;) ] ability to quote all nat's video...names.

you're vain, your games, you're insecure

2009-09-27T21:07:00.007+10:00

revising, as usual.

7 things i like
- christmas trees
- tofu
- having money
- books i want to keep reading until the end
- chai teas
- ABs
- the big bang theory (specifically; sheldon)

7 things in my room
- a relentlessly loud ticking clock
- pads (this perhaps crosses the line into TMI, but im just listing things i see first)
- mug shaped like a fat baby chick(en)
- an electric kettle box of bus timetables
- too many textbooks for a person not remotely smart
- santa claus (he likes me because im a good girl)
- quart of white wine (before you equate 17yrold + wine, its only 4% alc.)

7 things i cant live without
- tofu
- plants (oh how i live by your photosynthesising ways)
- water
- clothes (atm. because the weather is a frigid bitch. why am i always calling her that?)
- being able to shower
- family&friends
- shelter

7 dislikes
- flowers
- meat
- heavily perfumed items/persons
- $0.00 bank balance (luckily i have so far avoided this. big hoorah!)
- cheesy romcoms (oh couples retreat. how you disappointed me)
- hsc
- hsc (my dislike for it cannot be contained in one dot point.)

7 songs
- slow dancing in a burning room
- your hand in mine
- white lines and red lights
- knockin on heaven's door
- brand new day
- drift
- beside me

7 things I cant do
- touch type
- lick my elbow
- refrain from doritos on sale
- exist unattached and suspended in midair for lengths of time
- keep my hands warm
- jog
- see distances further than three feet clearly

2009-09-23T21:34:00.000+10:00

booshah, let's get hitched baby :)

Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!

2009-09-19T21:37:00.006+10:00

yo ho ho and a bottle o' rum!

...so happy talk like a pirate day everyone garr.

you may (but probably not) be wondering where i have disappeared off to lately;

has important priorities and happenings suddenly absorbed all my previously ample spare time? no.

was i stricken down by a deadly disease, hence unable to spare a single body part (not even a finger to type up a post) as i needed all the white blood cells as i could rapidly reproduce? no.

did i (finally) get a life? yes! ...no. (i had my hopes up for a second, but intentional deceit is frowned upon by society i think)

am i going to treat you all with a long comprehensive post about my past (many) adventures? ...not yet.

abligurition is no more

2009-09-03T18:58:00.007+10:00

you know my life has reached food bottom when i am unable to purchase even a $1.79 bag of doritos.

that's right doritos; the food that i would turn into if the "you are what you eat" axiom was true. not even tofu, but doritos. i was so dorito deprived at some stage (we had a period of dorito-sale drought, which lasted almost a month) that i bought a bag for $3.00.

why yes, if i would go to such frantic measures for a bag of $3.00 doritos, then surely the mere thought of $1.79 doritos must be watering my mouth to the point where i have my own personalised niagara falls. Even edward would not be able to harness thirst from such titillating a luxury...(i suppose) if the $1.79 doritos were a form of blood.

Hey Barney, see that girl?

2009-08-25T20:15:00.002+10:00

Ohhh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty.

When the day is done and no one else is around

2009-08-23T18:49:00.017+10:00

once (or normally) upon comical times, there were the quintessential, strikingly dazzling, damsel-in-distress-magnetic superheroes;
Superman
Batman
Iron Man
Aquaman
Radioactive Man
Green Lantern Man (to complete the pattern) ...

well, i think their manliness is apparent. some fancy external underpanties, others have that cape thing going on (-> The Incredibles). sure they tackle the rebellious i-want-world-domination villains, rescue the pretty chicks, and still squeeze in the time to work out a 12, 14, 16-pack...

but i bet they cant handle a girl with 2x the pms =D thats right buddy. try temperamental, irritable, insecure and cant sing for 20 cents heh. (well, obviously im a lot more vexatious and unpleasant, but thats for another post folks).

if during that special time (of month), some hunk tried to beat me up, you can bet i will wedgy (ah such easy access underwear) and bitchslap them to non-planet pluto. and if not, thats what this guy is for:
there are days where all one needs is someone to bail them out of despondency and adversity (or maybe just jail), and there will be the one person to make the single phone call to.

mine even has a superman shirt. :)

"It's going to be legen -

wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is
- DARY. "

happy one month. AB.

--- and merci my lovely wifey for getting the photo, vous êtes le meilleur voisin. (you and your bloody frenchie).

Whatta maroon! Whatta ignoranimus!

2009-08-19T17:30:00.011+10:00

so so bored right now. and this is the type of boredom that takes place in the absence of my normal procrastination ways; deadly.

well, ive tackled my trials. now let us never mention that period of failure in my life ever again. speaking of fail: i went to play laser tag yesterday with my old work friends, which was wonderful, because i miss them like [___________________________________________________________]
this much times ten million thousand. well. i didnt want to stretch the page, because then you have to use the scrollbar down at the bottom as well as the side, which leads to frustrated attempts to coordinately control both scrollbars simultaneously. eurgh.

but i really do miss them much profusely :( they're an awesome bunch of people (real top notch troopers :P), to the extend where i loved going to work (and i worked in fast food).

anyway, in the end i managed to get an 11% shooting accuracy (i might have read the scoreboard wrong, because i really rather not admit the truth of what i just confessed ha). in my defense, im severely shortsighted and it was dark, and green and blue dots (people) were zagging across everywhere...

you may now n00b bash me.

wait, let me finish my green bean soy milk first. slurp.

I hid under your porch because I love you.

2009-08-11T13:54:00.013+10:00

just a quick update to show off this wonderful present my baby got for me; who needs wings to fly when you can just dangle off a rickety house spouting balloons out of its chimney? :)

Up posterrrrr:
yarrrr can't wait till it's out in Australia, Sept 17th - grab a marker and your calendarrrs =D even Iceland gets to watch it before me; anyone volunteering to donate me a plane ticket?

until then, i'll leave with some quotes to drool over (mmm)

Carl Fredricksen: Do you want to play a game? It's called See Who Can Go the Longest Without Saying Anything.
Russell: Cool! My mom loves that game!

---

Dog: I like you temporarily!

---

Alpha: Now, you must wear the cone of shame.

---

Russell: A wilderness explorer is a friend to all, be it bird or fish or tiny mole!
Carl Fredricksen: That doesn't even rhyme!
Russell: [offended] Yeah, it does!

---

2009-08-06T21:42:00.019+10:00

its trials time, so naturally, im posting with such lightning frequency and productivity as never before seen.

Outside my window...is my neighbour's kitchen window, and some guttering.
I am thinking...of thoughts too witty and profound for blogspot. huh...
I am thankful for...everyone who is still with me.
From the kitchen...mm tofu.
I am wearing...shirt and sweats, why yes, i do make a point to look sexyy 24/7
I am creating...the inevitable doom of my 2unit math trials.
I am going...to take a shower and wash my hair after this, to further aforementioned doom.
I am reading...The Purpose Driven Life? (because i love my loser bf)
I am hoping...to still somehow miraculously pass my math trials.
I am hearing...Awakening by Switchfoot
Around the house...detailed account of helen's house coming shortly ;) though i am certain it will be something along the lines of: edward cullen poster(s), rob pattison fan pics, every possible twilight related song, and maybe some trial notes (nerdd).
One of my favorite things...my (possibly imaginary) friends. ♥
A few plans for the rest of the week...trials. and you thought your week would be more exciting? ha.

i have a confession.

2009-08-03T19:49:00.009+10:00

so last week. i got down. i got busy.

i finished off
completely devoured

without mercy

an entire box of 7oog milo cereal.

yes. i plead guilty.
i am a
as a consequence, i am sentenced to be on trial until 13.08.09.

may cleverness be on my side.

i hate this part right here.

2009-08-02T15:09:00.014+10:00

i hate

freezing
sickness
corny cute anythings
excessive and prolonged untidiness, disorder
empty sorrys (mostly by me)
over expecting (= disappointment)
inconsideration
hurtful intentions
feeling angry
letting people down

and bad bad moods :( they spread faster than paranoia about swine flu.

2009-07-20T11:31:00.029+10:00

well gosh darn it two posts in a row. now its undoubtfully obvious someone's procrastinating (so stop reading :P).

as promised, its photo dump time. im excited (not particularly).

so first and foremost, yoshi slippers! (ok this im excited about).they've got little hands and feet sticking out the sides and everything =D (i know, it takes so much to make me impressed, its ridiculous.)

so i went up to gosford last weekend, which was pleasant. highlights:
- boundless supplies of fresh air (even with the house being on a highway)
- charming waterfront views, endless till the horizon
- food food food (my aunt's friend can give masterchef a run for her money)
- (best for last) my queen size bed

the only downside was i forgot to bring my camera, so i had to make do with my phone :(
we went to terrigal for sunrise, i tried to capture the full expanse of the horizon using panorama, but the lighting was different for each shot :(( but hopefully i matched up the horizon line ok :P i'll try photoshop it later, when i bother installing it ha.
moon eclipse during dawn. but the colours pale in comparison to real life :(
i figured i'd take some photos of my aunt, while she took proper photos of the sunrise :)
after sunrise, we went down by the water, and coincidentally very slippery rocks. me, being by ever so coordinated self, slipped and fell flat on my (also flat) ass (yet somehow, i scraped my knee instead. a mystery).
yeah, im a pretty tall person. 1.63m is very very tall. as proven above, and photos never lie ;)

and some more photos.

2009-07-19T21:48:00.005+10:00

sometimes.
i wish you'd just shut up.
because you make an avocation of discharging lethal verbiage. they know my weaknesses, defects, emotions.
they know just where to scar.
no one reigns supreme over you.
my compliments.

i'll give you the benefit of doubt; to suppose you hold my best interests as a priority.
so i apologise. for the disappointment i bring, the anxiety that is left unconsoled, and the care that goes unnoticed, unappreciated.
im sorry that i am blinded by bitterness, resentment, and (typical teen) angst.
i have yet to learn to swallow my pride.

but its ok. theres not much left. you will soon be extricated (or was that last line too overdramatic?).

2009-07-15T21:19:00.012+10:00

im sorry to say my faineance is kicking in, alive as ever (still need to get around to transferring my files...)

and since my phone doesnt seem to be willing to cuddle up with my ravishing laptop as i do (every night ;) ), im (very disappointedly) unable to show off my friend's pair of yoshi slippers (provided me with priceless amusement for hours).

and yes, what a vapid start to a blog indeed. however, whenever one finds oneself a smidge short of creativity or resolution, hopefully a dust of inspiration will help to revive an extra pulse in your heart :)

(and once again im 'borrowing' this. as karma may have it, i'll be sued one day for plagerism.)

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch!
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

* * * *
i promise next blog shall be 100% platitudinous, in true swirling fashion :)

- oh almost forgot, im heading up to gosford for the weekend! :) feeling pretty excited, esp. for the viewwws =D

2009-07-06T18:58:00.014+10:00

you had me at hello.

unremarkably, i (still) havent installed any programs onto my new laptop yet, nor transferred my files, so i (very much reluctantly) borrowed imawarhol's darlin little guy up thar. please dont sue me. my current impecunious circumstance rivals those of the derelict and destitute.

just feeling a bit under the weather (yet contrarily, im so over the cold cold wintry season. brr. frigid bitch). missing certain people (you). certain feelings of joy and comfort only you blanket me with. the effortlessness, contentment & felicity that immerse the moments when you're around. there's no other place i would rather be, no other burdens i should instead be occupied with.

its just you and me. sitting side by side, having nothing particular in mind. conversing, laughing, and me, smiling like crazy, because im with you. i miss it (you).

and it kills me, wondering.

do you miss it too? do you notice when i don't prod you every day, asking how you're feeling (though i still ask. everyday, inside my mind. if you were telepathic, would you respond)? are you sorting out your worries (is it my place to even ask?)? have you been trying to cut that noxious habit (yes. the one i beat you up for) of yours? but most of all are you taking care of yourself and eating all your goddam vegetables?

and im always wanting to know...whatcha doin' right now?

oxox...i never want to stop. (but then i wrote in a period, sorry)

ever the swirliest. and still sickest.

2009-07-02T12:34:00.010+10:00

oh how i just love sharing the finer details of my indisposed health with the rest of the world wide web.

so i paid (i hate it when i mean this literally. it was $50. you bet your medicare ass im gonna claim a tax rebate. ok, my mummy will.) a visit to the gp's office. i probably left the house at 9ish, walked over to one gp, however, turned out to be already overflowing with other infirmed specimens (obviously, i dont do things such as phone ahead). so walked around trying to remember where another gp was located, while coughing and sneezing and spreading my (much-desired) germs to the public.

two hours later, i am playing sitting duck in a dim-lit waiting room while an infomercial aired, explaining why we're playing this puerile game (variability of length of time for consults, etc).

(hardly obtained) diagnosis: "viral bronchitis"

what? (i dont know. im surprised i havent googled it yet with eagerly twiching incompetent fingers)

is it even a proper name? (i dont know. i dont have a stupid mbbbs)

why not just call it bronchitis?* am i just using long ridiculous scientific terms to fool people into thinking youre dying and suffering, yet still (hoping to) pull off a communication of cool, profound, transcendent thoughts of effortless wisdom (i know. ive progressed into deliriousness).

and that ladies and gentlemen should affirm the seriousness of my condition, as am now slightly losing it by having self debates running on in my head and writing them down as little faq's.

shirls

(for the common good of internet safety, i shall refrain from kissing and spread my virus)

AND - happy 17th birthday to the smartest chick i know :) and whos initials are a refrigerator brand hahaa love you :) glad you had a great day, so sorry my viral infected cells failed to text you :(

* as another very smart person (shame knowing so many doesnt affect my intelligence level whatsoever. meaning i still have yet to reach a level of intelligence.) nicely straightened out for me, its viral as opposed to bacterial. oooh i see.

fully SICK.

2009-06-27T16:33:00.021+10:00

michael jackson is dead!

actually that piece of news doesnt hold much significance in the plethora of my personal interests. however, i hope it does serve to assure i havent migrated to a far away rock in self-seclusion. or to a seaside cave, to grasp a literary feel of the full atmosphere for the upcoming harry potter 6. im still breathing and in touch with human society! i merely lead a rather (excruciatingly) banal life (my person also lacking the captivating skills of a raconteur), hence have exhausted all remotely enamoring life tales in my previous four posts (and yet these four poor attempts at a blog, are still more successful than my attempts to pass maths. oh my ailing academic life. maybe its got swine flu).

absence may also be on account that i am an extremely (no matter how many extremelys i type, it wont come close to reality) lazy being (though my humane nature may be called into question if anyone saw the state of my current tomato appearance).

which leads me to apologise if i have misled you into thinking this post will be fully sick Lebanese style. in reality, im merely diseased, detrimentally infectious and should go nowhere near other breathing organisms. yeah. wayy cooler state of 'sick'.

and now even more sick of writing about my mephitic physical state (lets not get into the mental illnesses here). so i shall digress to tell a tale of a person holding a much higher entertainment value.

a long time ago (to be precise, dating back to the release of the twilight movie; and now everyones familiar with the period of time im referring to, yet you would all be scratching your heads if i referred to australia...the film), i lent my neighbour my copy of the twilight soundtrack, because despite all my outer distain and rebuke over anything relating (even as distant as third cousin, thrice removed) to the twilight franchise, i admit the soundtrack was, ok.

fine i liked it so much, i practically begged this neighbour to take 45 minutes out of her housemd-bones-90210-scheduled life (surfing youtube and facebook. im now vaguely questioning why i still associate with her). at the time, she was one of the remaining, rare species of female-homo-sapien not to have been seduced by the pale, frigid cold (hence, naturally, sexable and droolworthy to us) EdwardCullen/RobertPattinson, and refused to acknowledge, barely glancing, at the compact object forced into her hands.

alas, this cadaverous disease (this post is so disease themed it can rival hamlet) soon spread, and my neighbourino boarded the mighty (inscrutable) populous bandwagon of i-loveeeeee-twilight/edward cullen.

now, few months down the track. and my twilight soundtrack is forever lost. to another sufferer of the twilight-loving affliction.

of course, out of respect and consideration for my darling friends privacy rights, she shall remain nameless. i love you helen smellin's ;) now get off your skinny ass and come kiss me better :( because, lets face it, if youre reading this, you have nothing better to do anyway. and i'll play lullaby for you (its the fever talking, but you sometimes get it right with your attempted pursue for good music taste. love you)

xo a now slightly feverish (and oh so much more tomato-faced) shirls

AND - for the love of your good health, stay away from black current flavoured difflam lozenges! dont let their seemingly harmless, alluring purple appearance fool you. their claims of cough (and other sickly symptoms) relief lies. lies.

smelly swirly

2009-06-05T15:59:00.006+10:00

last night upon my walk home, dark and dreary, i stumbled across a divinity. no she didnt have legs going up to there, her eyes didnt see through to the windows of my heart and soul, nor did her smile outshine juliet's scorching presence;

she had a scent of baked creamy mashed potatoes.

eyes closed, this ambrosial fragrance carried up through my olefactory nerves and suffused my mind. high on cloud nine (hundred million and one), i was fatuous until i reached my door. envious; damn i wish i smelled that good.

if you were given the chance to be smelling all delectable, what would it be? myself, i'd favour apple pie ;)

o silent pockets

2009-06-01T13:13:00.014+10:00

so recently ive found myself in a rather unpleasant position.

unemployment (shame to all you imagining me in ridiculous arrangements).

consequently, i now have very limited (none, if we go into specifics) financial funding with which to amuse myself. hence, in attempt to stem my rapidly declining bank balance, ive sketched out a few rough guidelines which i shall (attempt to) faithfully abide by:

- thou shalt not splurge on unnecessary grocery items, ie. 10 packets of doritos, green bean soy milk, green tea ice cream, rice bubble LCM bars (value packs are not valuable!), 4 for $8 green tea (you have tea leaves!), family packed anythings (you, as a singly entity, are not a family).

- when passing a sale sign, thou shalt walk on by, not walk in & buy
*caution: window shopping may lead to unfaithfulness to these holy guidelines due to insufficient supplies of self control.

- in endeavour to squander away time, thou shalt resort to mindless daydreaming or other invaluable (cost free) activities instead of relapsing into nasty habits such as buying newspapers under delusion of cleverly acquainting self on current affairs, then skipping to the comics/puzzles page.

- thou shalt drag thy lazy behind to a library (perhaps one where you dont owe a large ass fine) instead of buying a book you will never read again since you already know 'whodunit'.

- thou shalt (find, then) read the VCR manual and master the sacred art of video taping, instead of buying, the tasteless movies and series you saw the night before (and cant get enough of) on tv.
* exceptions may include house, how i met your mother, scrubs, i am sam.

and thus hopefully, by embracing and practicing all skills that are ninja (cheap stingy asian), i'll be able to curb my path to destitution.

fellows in the same poor boat are welcome to join me on my quest to freedom (from creditors). =]

xo shirley

swirling in shock

2009-05-27T19:10:00.012+10:00

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

sorry i'll stop before i start getting repetitive. so what (catastrophic) event has reduced my (though limited to begin with) vocabulary to three blasphemous letters? my long lost baby mags decided to pop up on my doorstep at 8:30 last night. what a lovely 'surprise' (fright). she seems to find it amusing (questionable taste in humour) to watch my face distort into what she calls the 'holyshitimhallucinating (again)' face.

(roughly translating to. my sxc sxc gf returned from her long 3 year exile in china, her light a bright and scorching presence warming up my bleak and mundane existence. delicious :] )

i would post a photo of her darling face but alas, mags has not quite finished her fun, and she plans to pleasantly (hm.) surprise several other poor unsuspecting souls. i suppose photos of aghasted faces might liven up this blog a slight. anyway. shh keep it quiet

on a lighter (i also love making tasteless puns whenever i can think one up in time) note. sydney streets are playing host to the dazzling Smart Light event from the 26/05 - 14/06 (time: 6PM - midnight). my aunt went to check it out last night and hopefully her crackerjack photography shall inspire some more visitors (unlike my fail positioning of the photos) :]

so definitely take a walk, smell the night air, take photos of yourself in embarrassing poses bathed in rainbow lighting (personal favourite), and tell me what you thought, perhaps donate some ridiculous(ly lovely) photos?

i wont push it.

hoping to be enlightened (im sorry) by your thoughts soon,

xx shirls

intro?

2009-05-26T18:26:00.006+10:00

perhaps it is the absence of facebook, myspace, twitter, and whatnots, in my life rendering me with a lack of an online source for expression, release...ok, procrastination, but i found myself making a blog. and if you continue to follow this, you will find that yes, stating the obvious is a habit of mine. i can also be very longwinded, yet concluding at a point not any different to where/what i started off with.

so maybe it'll be wise to stop reading now, save what precious seconds you have in this one-time-offer journey of 'life'. personally, i'd much rather be wasting my seconds on diamondkt or, for a change of bloggy-scenery, the following:

- eating tofu
- sleeping
- reading frankie (magazine)
- (still) attempting to solve the rubix cube
- building a card house on my keyboard (progress may be hindered if you're also typing on said keyboard)
- sitcom marathon! (house, the simpsons, family guy, how i met your mother, monk, daria, etc.)
- baking cake (edible? questionable. im not a big fan of cake either. but getting covered in flour, priceless fun)
- find a secluded place in the park & cloud watch
- tp something! (how i met your mother. 4.18.murtaugh ); bum out with hobos (possible friends of mine)

im not a big fan of capitals either. nor apostrophes (general laziness). if i were able to understand it, i wouldnt even finish half the letters i write (i do it anyway. i spend half my studying time deciphering wannabe hieroglyphs)

and i suppose thats enough of the lets-list-everything-i-like spree (i tend to go on one every introduction, so fear no more, unless i happen to get a facebook. so really. fear not).

if by chance you would like to spend a few more seconds to leave a comment (lovely), you may also go on a list-everything-about-me spree =) the only thing i love more than going on one, is reading them!

as much as i try not to be, i am shamefully corny. (but hopefully it'll grow on you)

xx shirley