I know I am thirty-four years late

...but HELLOOOOOOO STAR WARS!

for the past nineteen

(note: i haven't written for so long, i started spelling nineteen with n-i-g-h-t...true story)

years of my ignorant life, i have lived with unwalked skies and unlit sabers, all those times when i casted looks of condescension and complete apathy to that group of people who think pseudo sword fighting with glow sticks were 'cool'. oh you group of people, YOU WERE RIGHT. IT IS COOL. cool to the point where the very act has the ability to cause goosebumps on princess leia's hot golden bikini clad shackled body.

to think back to an era when my world was filled with yoda wadda? and why is han going solo? oh the pain nearly rivals that when i watched the great jedi purge for the first time.

fear not my dear dear galaxy far far away, we have the next nineteen years of my life to properly catch up.

'cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks.

currently,

it is
one in the morning.
after
two hours of sleep last night
and there is
six hours until i have to face another nine to five day at work.

yes, it is a lot of figures to process at this time of night isn't it?

also, having the misfortune to be born sans cock, it is the time of month where i turn to lots and lots of pain killers. so i opened my pack of muscle relaxers earlier this evening, only to remember i was a greedy little bitch last month and consumed them all. i hate you. and by you i mean past me.

also also, nutjobs next door are still moving out (yes, at ONE AM) and clanging away at the stair railings in a fashion not dissimilar (i had to think about if this made sense for a couple minutes...was that two double negatives?) to sinister psychopathic killers.

all in all...i imagine this will be another sleepless night in seattle. or sydney. whatever.

We are in each other’s arms
Just like a movie scene
Cause as we're leaning in
The light decides to turn green
Me and you together
This is getting better
Just butterflies won't do
I don't want just red lights
I want more of these nights
Baby, I love you

finale

seven hundred and forty eight days ago:

you convinced me to say yes. i knew i wasn't a hundred percent sure, and i knew it was unfair to you...i think i just liked the idea of having someone being there for me, and who loved me, even though i did not reciprocate those feelings.

being with you was so easy, at first. of course it was easy. you thought you were so lucky, after all the chasing, and your perseverance, you had what you thought you finally wanted. it was the honeymoon phase, as they call it.

but then, things changed. we both changed. i fell in love...and you fell out. now i was the one who thought you were everything, thought that i was so lucky. i guess it was karma, teaching me a lesson.

you threw away everything, before the year was over. you didn't give me a second thought, you were unfaithful, you hid away like a guilty little child who knew he had been caught dipping his hand in too many candy jars.

yet you never took up the courage to end it. to do the right thing by me, even though i was begging you to. "don't lead me on." i said. "i understand, things change." but still you insisted on taking the chances i handed out like free samples on the street. i kept hoping you would come back to me. i thought you still meant those three words you say but never show.

now i know better. now is the final straw. i have wasted two years of my life, and i am not ready. but you are not worth the fight anymore.

squaddles dee dee

you know you had me at -

"cool t-shirt babe" .

(fooled you! you thought I was going to end with hello didn't you? this aint the jerry maguire blog dude.)

annnddd i think i will stop before this post becomes the deep pan crusted cheese pizza i consumed for dinner. this blog needs coagulated milk protein as much as my body needs a gazillion calories. clearly my witty, artistic style is still evermore nonexistent. perhaps you shall see me in another 318 days.

...are you impressed at how effortlessly I just happened to calculate the length of my absence? well don't be. it took a lot, too much, effort on my part.

toodles.