May 07, 2017

overwhelming fears

isn't it funny how towards the end, pieces from the beginning float through your mind in a perpetual stream of scenes from a bittersweet past life. even though i am trying to be patient, and wait for time to work its magic in dulling the pain and healing the intangible wounds, i am drenched in the fear that this anguish will never completely fade away.

i miss us more than anything that i have experienced so far. im so scared that i will never stop missing him. im afraid that he could hurt me in every way possible and i still would not be able to let go. im anxious that i will never be able to crush the hope i have inside of me that is hanging on for the moment he might come back to me. and i desperately want that hope to be annihilated. im terrified of the day when i see him moving on and i'll still be stuck pining away, wasting away, crazy with yearning.

im so scared.

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